


So Vile a Poison

by IcyAndTheFrostBites



Series: Icy's Carmen Sandiego Collection [2]
Category: Carmen Sandiego (Cartoon 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Western, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sporadic Updates, Violence, Wild West AU, no one but me asked for this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-13 14:33:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18470914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IcyAndTheFrostBites/pseuds/IcyAndTheFrostBites
Summary: A Wild West AU.They say she can rob a train in under twenty minutes. They say she can slip your keys out of your hand without you even noticing. They say she wears red, red the same color of the blood she spills.But she is only human, and humans are fallible.—————She just wants a chance to prove to the people of Acme Falls that the people who are claiming that they are helping the good citizens aren’t who they seem. So, she dons a red costume and tries to foil their plot. Whether the people believe the rumors that they spread, well, that’s entirely up to them.





	So Vile a Poison

**Author's Note:**

> I think I'm the only one who asked for this and wanted this. So I wrote it, and apparently you're going to read it. Hope y'all like Westerns! (I am putting this disclaimer here: I did very little research into Westerns. There is almost no attempt to be historically accurate. I am depending entirely on campy tropes to carry me through.)
> 
> I did this instead of writing the next chapter for [Cold Wind](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18423105/chapters/43638267). I am not sorry. Waking up at 3.30 in the morning, having to be at work by 5 so your coworker can go home and take care of his son can make you think weird things. Yay, exhaustion!
> 
> This first chapter doesn’t really focus on anyone familiar, but after this it’ll be told from the POV of characters you know and love. I kind of wanted to set the stage for this, and this was the only way I could figure it out.

The dry heat pressed down on Dr. Joseph Burkham as he and his small caravan made their way through the desert. It was so different from the humidity of his hometown. Well, the whole place was different. He missed the green and the marshes and the smell of vegetation rotting in the hot sun. Instead, there was dryness and overwhelming heat and everything tasted like dirt and sand. 

And he was tired. So very, very tired.

It probably didn’t help that he had taken the middle shift for their watch that night. He got little sleep before and little sleep after. If he was short with anyone, it was because he was tired and oh so hot.

He was grateful when their guide called for a rest.

The group of men found reprieve from the sun in the shade of a large rocky obstruction. It did little for the heat, however.

The beans they had left to soak in the gelatinous and salty water had very little taste to them. They were only slightly refreshed by the less than pleasant meal (if it could, in fact, be called a meal). For Joseph, it sat uncomfortably in his stomach, some of the water clinging to his mouth and throat.

They spent a good few hours or so waiting out the hottest time of the day waiting for the sun to pass and for the air to cool. A few of the men napped, Joseph among them, while others took watch.

He made a pillow of his rucksack, careful so as not to break the glass vials of his precious cargo, and opened the old pocket watch his wife gave him shortly after they married ten and six years prior. It was a simple with with a plain face, but it was the picture on the inside that mattered most to him.

Lila’s smiling face looked back out at him – his strong brow and stubborn nose with his wife’s eyes and delicate chin. A mess of curly hair that looked ready to bounce at any given moment. He swore that he could almost hear her laughter… 

He woke an hour or so after drifting off into an uneasy sleep – visions of Lila laughing as they swirled around his tired mind, his eyes blinking at the liquid-like mirages created by heat. He focused on a dark shape dancing and shifting. He blinked a few more times as he sat up. The shape was coming closer.

“Hey,” he said, shaking the leg of the person next to him, “hey. Someone’s coming.”

“Just a mirage, Dr. Burkham,” said one of the men keeping watch. “Get a bit more rest.”

“Nonono, look!” He pointed a shaking hand to the shape. It, most definitely, was getting closer.

He heard a few of the men behind him shift as they turned to see what he was looking at.

“Looks like they’re alone,” said a man.

“In the desert?” said another. “That’s not exactly safe, right?”

“He have a death wish or something?”

The shape – the person – staggered in a zig-zagging shape towards them. They stumbled over rocks and squat, dry plants that littered the desert floor.

“Shit,” said their guide, who was shielding his eyes, “it’s a woman.”

“What’s she doing all the way out here?”

“Indians?”

“Maybe.”

The woman collapsed not forty paces from them.

Joseph saw her going down and, quick as lightning, struck out from under the shade and to her side. She felt too far away. And then she was at his feet and then his knees as his fell to them to look her over.

“Miss?” he said, shaking her arm. “Hey, miss? Are you alright?”

Footsteps of the others rushing towards them, stopping just short and shielding her from the sun as they looked down at her. Joseph cautiously turned her over to get a better look.

She was young – although only slightly older than his Lila – with short cropped hair a most peculiar color for someone with her complexion. She wore a well worn dress that hung around her much too slim frame, the laces of the skirt pulled abnormally tight around her waist.

“Christ,” one man said, “she’s a kid.”

“Let’s get her into the shade.”

“Some water? Who grabbed the water?”

Joseph carried her back into the shade, lying her head down carefully on his own pack. The rest of the men who hadn’t joined them in the sun were waking up and watching with curious expressions. Someone brought out a waterskin and pressed the spout to her lips. Water dribbled out, mostly onto the ground, but what little hit the back of her throat make her choke.

She shot onto her side, coughing and sputtering. Her eyes were blinking rapidly, looking about. They looked wild – though they weren’t as blurry as he had expected. She was too coherent for someone suffering from heat exhaustion and dehydration.

The beans in his stomach made a slight turn. 

“You alright there, little miss?” a man said crouching beside her. He reached out a hand to placate her.

She gave a shriek and pulled away from them. A few others tried to coax her back to them, honeyed coos and sweet things they would say to their daughters, sisters, wives, or mothers.

Joseph, meanwhile, stood up slowly and backed away. He looked over to their guide. The man was scanning the horizon for something. When the guide met his eyes, Joshua saw one thing and one thing only: Fear.

“Hey, hey, doc,” one of the men said, tapping Joseph’s leg to get his attention. The man looked up at him. “What should we do?”

**_Run._ **

Before he could say it – but perhaps he did? – there were cries from above them as darkly clad men dropped down from the cliffs and overtook them.

Joseph snatched up his bag and bolted away from the cliffs, into the desert proper. The girl ran alongside him, continuing the charade of being an innocent – the little liar.

He had heard of outlaws using girls about her age for their own personal gain. He wondered if this girl was even given a choice on whether or not she was one of them. Or if she’d been sold to them and made a child bride. He’d heard tales of that before.

The girl managed to overtake him and trip him up, sending them both sprawling to the desert floor. Dry plants pricked and sliced at his cheeks. She landed heavily on top of him. Slender and bony as she might have been, there was clear muscle weight to her. 

She stomped on his hand, breaking not only one or two of his knuckles but also his grip. She grabbed the bag and backed away.

He looked up at her. She was frowning, her hair was wild and wands of whatever the plants were caught in the tangles. Her eyes – a startling and cold gray hue – were glaring down at him. She was breathing heavily, clutching his bag close to his chest.

Her eyes flicked up for just a moment to something behind him. She glanced back down at him and clenched her jaw, gulping and taking a step back.

“What did you find, Black Sheep?”

Something cold was pressed to his neck as a shadow was cast over him. He tried to peer up at the man who’d spoken, but the sun was obscuring his view.

The girl didn’t speak. She took another step back.

A woman appeared from behind the man and stepped over Joseph. She dressed in trousers and riding boots like a man, though her fair hair was pulled back into a complicated braid, pinned to the back of her head.

She strode over to the girl and swiped at the bag. There was a short tug-of-war, but the woman hissed and the girl let go, her arms dropping helplessly to her side.

The woman opened his bag and rifled around inside. She dropped out a few more personal items before finding whatever it was she was looking for – one of the vials.

“Dr. Bellum will be happy to see this,” she said. “Good work, Black Sheep. We’ll be sure to, at the very least, mention that you recovered what we came for.”

“That medicine –” Joseph said, starting to get up. Whatever was pressed into his neck forced him back down. “That medicine is for –”

“Yes, yes, we know who it’s for.” The woman circled around to him. She jumped at the sounds of gunshots. Joseph didn’t have to turn around to know the reasons.

His eyes moved of their own accord to the girl. She stood straight as can be, eyes tightly shut and face turned away. Wet tracks marked her sandy cheeks.

“Bring him back to the others,” the woman said, to someone he couldn’t see. 

A pair of hands hauled him to his feet, forcing him back to the others. He turned his head behind him to look at the girl.

The man who’d held what turned out to be a modified cattle prod to his neck approached the girl, talking in gentle tones. She jerked away and stalked in the direction of the setting sun. The man let her go and turned to follow them.

Joseph was dropped to his knees in the carnage. The unquenchable desert floor had consumed so much blood, but it still stained him trousers and hands.

“Well, Dr. Burkham,” the woman said, joining the men who’d brought him over, “your hard work won’t go to waste, I can promise you that.”

“That belongs to Acme Falls,” Joseph said, gesturing to the bag still in her hand. “They need that medicine to –”

“Help them. As I told you, we know who it’s for. Why do you think we wanted it so bad?”

“You plan to make a profit off it.”

“Well, of course. The cost of a drop for the cure is dear. And we all have mouths to feed.”

“And what about those who can’t afford it?”

“It’ll keep the town for the rest.”

Joseph felt his heart plummet down.

“You plan on letting people  **_die_ ** ?”

“We don’t plan on it but, well, who’s fault will it be when they lose someone they claim to love?” the woman said. “It won’t be ours, that’s for sure. We’re offering a cure to help them.”

“You won’t be able to replicate it,” he said, spitting at her feet.

“I won’t. I don’t have a mind for chemistry. Now, Dr. Bellum, on the other hand…”

“You wouldn’t hand it over to her. She’d make it worse!”

“There’s only so much I can do. Oh, well.” The woman looked him up and down. After a moment, she leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. “We need to hurry back. Gray, go fetch Black Sheep. We don’t need any coyotes snatching her up.”

The man from before hesitated before jogging off in the direction the girl took off in.

“Boys, take care of the good Dr. Burkham, would you?”

The last thing Dr. Joseph Burkham saw before the bang were the barrels of two guns pointed down at his face.

**Author's Note:**

> So....... more explanation on stuff in the next chapter. As soon as I write it. As mentioned in the tags, sporadic updates. I don't control this story.
> 
> I will update the summary when I can properly put together a coherent plot that what I have.


End file.
